A Big Attraction Mistake Guys Make!
by Nick Hoss
Today, I’m going to solve an attraction problem most guys make.
Have you ever felt like a dancing monkey or over-attracted a woman? Did you even realize that you could build too much attraction? I used to do that.
The emotional progression model in Magic Bullets says that you need to have attraction in place before you can qualify the woman. For a beginner, the challenge is often just getting the attraction going (if they get through their opener). However, once a guy gets some practice under his belt, he starts getting attraction but still operates from the mindset that he needs to create more.
What ends up happening with this mindset is the PUA guy builds a 10/10 attraction level, when he only may need 5/10. This happens because once a guy puts in some work and becomes more intuitively attractive acting, that attraction is just carried with him (at least a little bit). Instead of coming in at 0/10, he is automatically at 3/10.
The problem is that he still overcompensates like when he was beginning and builds epic amounts of attraction, sometimes not even realizing it. Part of this is just missing the girls signals, innocent ignorance. The other is that old crappy dogma that you need three “indicators of interest” before you can move to qualification. What if she saw you talking to some other girls earlier and that more than made up for those first two indicators? What if she was already intrigued about you? How about this–what if you just assumed it and came in like a naturally attractive guy, flipped the scenario on her and just started qualifying her and let that subcommunication build enough attraction to get the qualification ball rolling?
The reality is that if she is talking to you, you’re doing okay. You have something to work with. How much attraction do you need? The answer: just enough.
Let’s say you want to get a bit of qualification going. You may only need 3/10 attraction to get the girl to qualify herself on something small, a 3/10 qualification level. This would start the qualification ball rolling. After that, you can cycle back to attraction and build it up to 5/10 and move forward and build larger amounts of qualification. At the same time you can throw in some 1/10 and 3/10 comfort–just a step behind how much attraction you’ve built so you don’t become the “nice guy.”
The main takeaway is that you don’t need 10/10 attraction to move the process forward. Sets are always an initial race to qualification because that is what locks in her emotional investment, prevents flakes and makes you become real to her. With that qualification she’ll care.
Cycle through those meaty parts of the emotional progression model just enough, don’t shoot for the moon in each phase.
P.S. This applies to night game and (especially) day game with shorter interactions.