Build the Empire
by Nick Hoss
I’ve been thinking A LOT about social circle game lately, especially after experiencing the great and not-so-great of day game and club game in L.A. last week (and the tighter scene in Honolulu last month). One reason you really want to focus on your social circles, especially when you get your cold approach down, is how easy it makes gaming.
It’s really no secret–most “natural” dudes unconsciously find their way into the coolest social circles. They then reap the spoils of that. Their skills with women aren’t necessarily the most top-notch, but I’ll bet money on them that they’ll do better than a guy with no access. (AND, to top that, I’ll bet that they’ll introduce me to a girl way more readily.)
When you cold approach a girl, you are essentially jamming hours/days/weeks of emotion/comfort (the “I’m not a creep” kind, not the phase) into a couple of seconds in hopes of buying some minutes, hours, etc. With social circle and warm approaches, that effort is out of it. It’s nice.
Stuff you should do
Here are some things I’ve seen guys who have great social and dating lives do:
- Be friends–like buddies–with lots of girls. (Use some restraint!) This involves being fun, yet grounding.
- Make a somewhat legit/contextual connection with some connectors. Any example of making a contextual connection with connectors may be befriending a promoter beyond the night scene.
- Have tons of what I call ‘faux friends’. This means you have a ton of acquaintances in the scenes you hang out in. You give these people good emotions, don’t ask much in return and don’t have to put in the effort. These are the kind of people who always make fun, in the moment plans, then usually do the same with a million other people for the same night. Don’t take it personally. One of those plans turns out eventually. Be cool.
- Have a crew of cool dudes. (I can’t stress this enough.) Pay attention when you’re out in public and notice the guys with the good looking girls. It’s pretty rare to see one ‘cool’ guy by himself amongst a bunch of chodes.
Remember, cool guys aren’t out to snipe every girl down. When the empire is built, people come to it (and to them, obviously). It takes time to do, and you’re gaming social people so it a little skill. (“Game recognizes game.”) When it’s established it’s beautiful though.
[quote]In my client newsletter this month I’m going to share some secrets I’ve learned over the years about HOW you can build a better social circle.[/quote]