Do you want to pick up hotter girls? Sick of 7s? Wonder what the big difference is? I answer the question this week…

Hey Nick!

I have absolutely no problem picking up and flirting with 5-6-7′s but when it goes any higher than that I’m a complete failure. Do you have any tips on how to get past my ugly little problem? (Pun intended)

Thanks!

-Alan

Hi A,

Ugly little problems are okay. It’s those ugly big problems you gotta avoid

I’m a big believer of the inward-out approach, so I’m going to address the inner game of this because that’s really where I believe most of the answer lies.

Depending what you consider a 6, 7 or 8, there really isn’t that much difference in picking them up, at least tactically. 9s and 10s can be a little different to game and can require more work, but girls below that are quite accessible, (ie. you can get access to them easily enough). For a while when I started out, I was in the same boat you’re now paddling in, so I can understand the frustration.

Experience is your friend. The more you go out, the more experience you accumulate, and the more exposure you’ll get to 8s. Eventually, you’ll develop higher social intuition (and the confidence that goes with it) to run with these girls. (Daxx has a good post on this. Find it on my PUA reading list, “Ingraining New Beliefs.”) What will end up happening–you’ll hit it with a 7.1, then a 7.2, then a 6, then a 7.5, then a 7.2, then an 8.5. The idea is to develop consistency while ascending the scale. (Insert nerdy diagram and graph :p) You’ll accumulate enough experience with 8s that picking them up will become more status quo for you. Suddenly, those 6s don’t register on the radar anymore. Your mind creates a self-image of “I’m a guy who picks up eights.” It has too much reference experience with 8s to deny it.

Another thing to keep in mind is that your criteria for quality changes as you gain more experience, and I’m not talking about her inner qualities. When you look back a year or two from now, a girl who you may consider a 7 (an average, nice looking girl) will look more like a 6, and your definition of an 8 now will morph into a 7. Without rationalizing, I think we are always looking up to a higher level of girl, and although we may be reaching it, we may not be noticing it. The “9s” that were shutting me down in high school are now 7s compared to many of the girls I date, yet I’m always working on my 9 and 10 game. Too much is never enough.

Visualizations are alright, and I think keeping field reports and a journal will help, but at the end of the day, you need to get blown out a lot (and succeed a little too) with these girls to start dating them. Learn to analyze what you did in set, keep what works and throw out what doesn’t. Like I say, the tactical stuff isn’t that much different. It’s in your head. If your inner game is off, it will manifest outwardly through your actions.

The tools are within you. Become a higher value man and ingrain those high value behaviours. Practice, my man.

–Nick

If you have a question you’d like Nick to answer, send it to nick.hoss@lovesystems.com with the subject line “Q & A Tuesday.” Nick will answer one question every Tuesday.