The Other 3 Skills All Great Love Systems Guys Have
by Nick Hoss
Last time I gave the first three crucial skills I feel every Love Systems guy who is great has mastered.
These were opening, spiking attraction and storytelling.
Today I’m going to list the other three and keep giving you more resources so you can go out and practice on your own.
I’ve noticed that all of the greats are masters of the following:
I’ll never forget the definition of frame control because it was a big one on my instructor evaluation with Savoy. A frame is “the underlying emotional context of an interaction.”
Think of it like this: pretend a thought or interaction is a picture in a frame. Also pretend, the picture frame itself gives meaning to the picture, like all red picture frames signal something negative happened in the picture and all green picture frames signal something positive happened. Now inside the frame put the picture of a hospital bed. If you put it in the red frame, knowing that red means negative, you’d think it was the bed of somebody who died. Put it in a green frame and you may think that was the bed of a mother who just left the hospital with a newborn.
It’s still just a picture of a bed.
A great pick up example of this comes from Savoy’s blog about Venture.
GIRL: You’re a fucking asshole!
VENTURE: Wait, I love this game! Umm…ummm…you’re a fucking bitch! *smiling
Simple and powerful. Apparently he slept with her that night.[/quote]
(Fuckin’ Venture. I’d believe it too.)
It’s all in the meaning you attach to the words, not the words themselves.
Here’s what I’ve found helped me learn to frames:
- Keep a journal. Write down where a set went south on you and then re-write what you would do next time to change the frame.
- Go out for a couple of weekends and interpret every bit of feedback you get from girls as positive feedback. (Strongest frame always wins!)
- Ask yourself in tough situations, “How can I make this work?”
- Make it a habit of turning your negative thoughts into positive ones consistently. If you can do it in your head, you’ll be able to do it more easily in conversations. (For example, Tenmagnet isn’t short-short, but he’s not a tall dude either. He uses the mindset of “tall guys are big and dumb. If I go over there and she gives me a chance, she’ll see that I’m more interesting.” I’m 6’5″ and I’ve been tooled by him in set before.)
- Listen to the Frame Control and Subcommunications interview series. It’s so legit that I need you to listen to at least the first 10 minutes by clicking that link. (First guy to comment what Savoy says at 3:25 will get the whole interview for free as a gift from me.)
I’m really not supposed to say this, but the old insider saying is “once you get good it all comes down to how you handle logistics.”
Logistics are a bitch.
I think of them like when I played hockey. As a goalie, if I had a game where I let in only one goal, it would have been a great performance by me. However, if the fuckers upfront didn’t score any goals for me I’d get tagged with a loss. Played a great game, still a loser.
Meeting girls can be similar. You can run the tightest game ever on a girl, be ready to take her home, and her friend will be a complete and utter nuisance to the cause. (It’s especially frustrating with young girls who even say they want to go home with you but they don’t have the maturity/resolve to tell their friend to not get in the way.) Girls are funny like that.
Now on the flip side, once you get pretty decent at this stuff, you’ll have times where logistics magically fall into place (or you just start recognizing opportunities). When you want to pull a girl and she says that she doesn’t have a ride home, your brain kicks into gear and you say, “No problem. I can give you a ride.” You and her go home together instead the trivial excuse screwing you over. (That’s a typical example of setting a frame by the way.) If you get good enough, and know how to read and project subcommunications, you can handle logistics much better because you’re implying all of the stuff you can’t say. (“Let’s go back to my place so I can show you pictures from my trip.” “Why don’t you just come over tonight to watch a movie. I’m too tired to go out.” Both are effectively, “Come over and we’ll bang but I’m not making you feel like a slut.”)
Alright, so some logistics tips:
- Figure out the group dynamic early. You have to win over the leader of the group, find out who is driving, etc. You can run great game on the DD, but you ain’t taking her home.
- Find a dude, perhaps your wing, for her friends.
- See how far away she lives. You’re hot and dandy and all, but she isn’t going an hour out of her way.
- Set up dates that start at/near your house and end at/near your house. (We have a shitload of date ideas available for download).
- Build compliance ladders. (Getting her to come from the middle of the bar to home is a big jump. Getting her to come from the middle of the bar to the back couch to the dance floor to the Mexican food truck to your place is easier.)
- Seed the pull early. It’s a not a big surprise of comprehension for her at the end of the night when you leave together that way.
Phone and Text Game
I can’t remember what book it was, but I read somewhere that the top people in most things are only doing it 10 per cent better than the rest. That definitely applies to phone and text game.
Let’s say you got two phone numbers each week–100 per year for easy figuring–and you converted 10 of those into dates. A guy who is doing 10 per cent better on the gross is going to get twice the dates that you do. (Don’t read into those numbers. They’re just examples.) Having 10 per cent better phone game counts (and we give strategies in our Dates Home Study Course).
The cool part about improving your phone game, compared to say, LMR skills, is that you have greater instances to practice AND you can bide your time to craft responses. It’s really a matter of repetition, trial and error and knowing what to use.
Here are my five biggest phone and text tips:
- Adopt the mindset of “I’m going to have fun with this. If I’m having fun the opportunity to ask her out will present itself.”
- If you’re getting flaked on, your qualification needs work. Sorry, no magic pills.
- Don’t do more work than you have to do. Enough attraction is enough attraction, get to the point. She’s probably running around town while she’s texting you.
- Text as often as she’ll respond, but if she’s not responding stop and reevaluate.
- Don’t send out something too soon because you think you need to respond.
[quote]For the first three tips, check out last week’s post.[/quote]
If you want to know how to get better at each of these skills, download my PUA Book list. It’s free and highlights resources for how to get better at these skills.