Best PUA Openers – Opinion Openers are Dead

5 comments

by Nick Hoss

One thing I always find interesting on PUA boot camp or 1 on 1s is how much students want to hear the words I’m using. Of course, it’s pretty well known that it’s not so important what you say but how you say it, and that body language is more important, yadda, yadda. (This is the biggest benefit of doing a live program, in my opinion. You get to see the body language, posture, expressions, takeaways, etc.)

However, you do need to say something for your PUA Opener. Starting that conversation can most often be the hardest part. When I started in this stuff, I shelled out for the Routines Manual. There is some really top quality good stuff in there for beginners.

After a while of using it, I started to see the underlying elements that made the openers work, so I came up with some of my own. (I often would make up opinion openers congruent to my real life.) In time, I had gone out enough that I started saying things off-the-cuff and learned when to say opportune things at opportune moments.

Today, I don’t plan my best PUA Openers when I go out. (I’m more worried about my state… or keeping semi-sober :p) If I can’t come up with stuff on the spot, I’ll either go totally direct and try bowl her over, or I’ll strategize and roll off one set to another. (The latter is usually when I’m trying to reach a really hot girl and need to go in through her friends.)

Beginner Pick Up Artist Openers

Soft-Direct

Walk up and say, “I really love your style… You remind me of the girls where I’m from.” This is a good one for early in the night, like 10 p.m. – 11:30 p.m. in most cities before things really get popping and before the girl’s loosen up. Nice way to get rolling. It has a little intrigue and gets her answering back.

Funny-Direct

In a really hot venue: “Holy shit it’s hot in here, eh. Ya, I know. I got some really bad boob-sweat going on right now.” Re-adjust your shirt at the chest. You can’t take this one too seriously and if you’re inhibited at all it won’t work. Don’t look for a reaction. If you have this look in your eye that says ‘like me for how witty I am’ it will kill it.

Another favorite of mine is to walk up to girls in epic heels and say, “You’re the only girl in here tall enough to talk to me.” It’s like I’m qualifying her before she can open her mouth, and if you understand pick up you know that you can’t qualify unless there is value/attraction in place. For me, that opener is a hack as a tall guy. Find something you have in common with a girl and use it under this same structure. It’s playful and a smooth way to break the ice.

 Wingman Handoff – Moving Sets

 This one is so easy. We use it all of the time… When a girl is walking by, say, “Have you met my friend [name]?” and introduce her to your wing. Then you take the friend. The set is already opened and your wing is rolling. The key is that your wing has to know it’s coming so talk about it before hand. If the guy handing off opens with some conviction it can be an easy way to stop moving sets.

Advanced PUA Openers

These are some of the best PUA openers that I actually use. If you haven’t listened to the audio above, listen to how I say them. The tone is what sells these direct, challenging openers.

• “You can’t look at me like that and not talk to me.” Used when she makes eye contact with you. This is good because she’ll usually start blushing.
• “We’re the best looking people in here, so I guess we should talk to each other and get it over with. What’s your name?”
• “You know, just because you’re hot doesn’t mean you don’t have to talk to me.” This one has been around for a while.
• “You’re cute. You should talk to me.” Being really cheeky and laid back about this. The cocky guy leaning against the bar.
• “Hey I think you’re fuckin’ sexy in that XYZ. Who are you?” Blow out rate is higher with this one, but when it hits, it hits hard. Tons of non-verbal elements. (You’re not allowed to use this until you can open girls consistently. Don’t blame me if you get slapped otherwise!)
• “Hi, my name is Nick. How’s your night?”
• “Hey guys, what’s up?”
• Waving girls over.  Lots of facial expressions involved.

The beauty is that these don’t sound contrived or weird. They are fun, flirty and some are cheeky. It’s a real organic (“natural”) way of flirting.

I often find that the best pick up openers are spontaneous and in the moment. When you’re in the moment you’re completely genuine and all of your true confidence gets projected on to her AND you’re not reaching for an outcome. Totally a topic for another day though…

(This is night stuff, for those wondering.)

For the Internet’s best guide to PUA Day Game Openers, click here.

 

Hi Nick,

 Actually not a question, but a thank you.

I tried some of your openers at the club tonight, and I opened almost all sets I approached.

“We’re the best looking people in here, so I guess we should talk to each other and get it over with. What’s your name?” got one set even screaming with fun, and “You’re cute. You should talk to me.” got me into another set with a really gorgeous girls.

Beats the good old “Tattoo” opener – although I have used it and it gives a good emotional response, but in a loudish venue I find these types of openers sometimes lengthy and inefficient.

All the best,

F.

Do Opinion Openers Still Work?  

I’m really not a fan of opinion openers that are cheesy, i.e. “Who lies more,” ex-gf stuff, etc. I don’t mind opinion openers that are relevant to the situation. They can be used as training wheels for a guy just starting out in pick up. It’s not unnatural that way.

For example, when I moved to Dallas and the Texas State Fair was on, I remember talking to a girl about it and asking what’s the crazy deep-fried thing I can eat at the fair. Then I thought, “Damn, that would be a good opinion opener for a student, and it wouldn’t be weird or cheesy.”

It’s relevant though.

You can add some genuine interest and emotion to that. Early in the night, in a bar-bar or a pub, opposed to a booming 2 a.m. club, an opinion opener can make it easy for girls to start talking when you’re not going hardcore direct like later on in the evening. Of course, you need to get good at transitioning after a direct opener, and for that I recommend reading up on cold reading.

I also don’t mind opinion openers that subcommunicate “I’m here to fuck with you ’cause you’re cute. This is a clever way of me starting a conversation.” For example, “Hey guys, what’s a good way to ruin a wedding?” They answer, you tease the answer, nobody cares why you asked.

Now, if you like PUA openers that have a guaranteed response, like that one from my buddy Tenmagnet, you could use his, “Hey guys, have you seen my friends?… No? Okay, good cause I don’t have any.” Then the ball is rolling. If you’re a newbie, these work to get the ball rolling, I get it. However, playing it safe doesn’t score you big points with TRUE 9s and 10s…

See, the problem is that–assuming you want to pick up hot girls–you’re not going to roll into a club in the Meat Packing District of New York or the hottest spot in London, stroll up to a promoter’s table full of girls and ask “So guys, who lies more, guys or girls?” If you even manage to get close to the girls, they’ll look at you like “WTF??? Why?”

(That or it will be so loud you can’t be heard. In loud venues or later in the evening, you want to start going more direct. You have less attention spans and time with which to work. Make that first impression count!)

When you walk up and say, “You’re the sexiest slob in here. Who are you?” (by Mr. M) it scrambles her circuits. Same thing when you say, “There’s no dancing in here,” in a really commanding tone to a girl whose kind of wavering to the music as she stands at the bar. Guys who can pull those off aren’t chodes. It’s beyond the old “it’s not what you say but how you say it,” because how you say it says so much about the kind of guy you are.

The thing is, as an instructor, I understand that most guys reading this blog for PUA advice aren’t at the level (or care to be at the level) where they are getting into exclusive venues, rolling up to girls and saying, “Those tits are the real fuckin’ deal,” and getting away with it like my buddy Intrigue. It takes practice and subcommunication, but if you want to play at the elite level that’s the kind of stuff you have to learn to make work. The words, tone, body language, facial expression, timing, state, etc. all have to be the complete, congruent package… and when it hits it will blast through the bullshit. As long as you get her out of her ‘hot girl’ frame it doesn’t matter what you say to do it.

Openers for Mixed Sets, etc.:

• Eye Contact and Openers
• Mixed Set Openers (Vault)

 

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