Talking to girls on the dance floor – Q & A Tuesday

1 comment

by Nick Hoss

 Dance Floor Game is not something I’m very fond of, but guys seem to always be tempted by the oodles of girls who are gyrating about to the beats of some gangster rapper or pop princess I don’t know by name. There is a time and place if you want to talk to girls on the dance floor, but it may be different than you think.

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Hi Nick,

 

Thanks for answering questions on your site. It’s nice to see an instructor put up so many posts. 

 

My question is about the dance floor. I see so many girls dancing every night but I do not know how to open them, and when I do they always seem to busy to care. What should I do when girls are on the dance floor? Open or wait or what?

 

Thank you.

 

T.S.

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Thanks for reading, T.S.!

I feel your pain on this one. 

My views on the dance floor are old school and pretty firm: avoid it. Simply put, the dance floor is for dancing not talking. The girls are out there to dance. 

Okay, okay, here’s what can try…

When girls are on the dance floor they are in a more volatile (lucid) emotional state. This is the human condition of physiology affecting psychology. Think of it as her attention going to the shiniest object and that object is her friends, the music and everything that goes with. After all, that is the point of clubs–to go out and forget about the everyday logical worries and just get lost in the fun.

Usually, if I see a girl I like on the dance floor I’ll wait until she leaves it. Simple enough.

If she’s not really into the dancing and is just on the dance floor for something to do instead of standing, you can try to go direct, but you have to take it somewhere from there. It’s not that easy to get her off the dance floor when her friends are there. Holding a conversation is tough too.

Another option is to start dancing with her. Simple enough again. Look for eye contact, get on the same page dance-wise and stimulate some emotion through spinning her around, etc. Then… get her off the dance floor and start a conversation. I used to go out with b-boys and they’d clear the dance floor at the beginning of the night, get everybody excited and have all the social proof they’d need for the rest of the night. Tenmagnet is a pretty good dancer too, and I’ve seen him cut a rug so that works too.

To sum up: The dance floor sucks for talking to girls, so talk to one of the 100 other girls in the venue while the one you like is on the dance floor.

How you actually can use the dance floor

I do use the dance floor on a nightly basis, but I don’t use it for opening. 

• Good excuse to isolate the girl, progress logistically
• Good way to inject energy into a dying conversation
• Good to increase buying temperature
• Good place to escalate touching, build tension, steal a kiss
• Create a jealousy plot line, which I really won’t get into here. (It’s rare used, but can be [i]highly[/i] effective.)

Last tip: if you’re a bad dancer, like me, don’t take the dance floor too seriously, try to keep up to the beat and use it sparingly. Read this post by Tenmagnet.

–Nick

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If you have a question you’d like Nick to answer, fill out this simple question submission form. Nick will answer one question every Tuesday.

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