Training Your Emotions (from a post by dahunter)
by Nick Hoss
Dahunter had a great blog post called “Training Your Emotions,” when he had a blog*. The thing Dahunter harps on in that blog article is taking right action despite negative emotion is a habit and part of being a man.
(*It’s gone now, only smart guys kept copies.)
Being a former athlete, I learned this early. When you tear your MCL, what does your coach say? “An injury is not something to be celebrated. Go drive the arm bike.” It’s a valuable lesson – You’re not allowed to flail in the face of adversity. Suck it up.
In dating, women hold you to this standard, hard. It makes the difference between her saddling up with a man she can trust and her aligning with a grown-up boy.
The most basic example of this is when you have a date.
Women are allowed to show up late for dates. To be honest, if she is late, it probably means she was making double-sure that she is ready. However, if a man is late, it may signal that he is a guy who cannot be relied upon. She needs to trust that he’ll be on time for a date (just like he’ll be there for her when she needs him most). These little signals are always going off. Be aware what you’re subcommunicating.
The other half of this is that successful men go out everyday and get the job done. Their word and name is gold, and they can’t make excuses. It’s no coincidence that it’s a trait of leaders and that leaders are highly attractive to women.
To be swayed by emotion is a feminine trait. An situational example would be when a wife being passively aggressive toward her husband when he is unable to do something he promised he’d do, such as landscaping in the front yard. Yeah, he had to work the whole weekend in order not to get fired, but that doesn’t matter. He promised he’d put that new flowerbed in. If he can’t figure out a way to put in a flowerbed, how can he be relied upon to discipline their teenage son–who won’t listen to Mom–when he needs it? See how the little things are used as cues to reflect bigger triggers?
(Of course, if he has true emotional control, he will have proper boundary function and these problems won’t come up or they’ll be easy to solve. The relationship will be healthy for both. Check the Relationship Management DVD set for that kind of stuff.)
Now that’s fine and dandy, but I don’t plan on getting married anytime soon.
If you want to get ahead at work or build your business or master a skill (such as Love Systems), you need develop the habit of discipline. You always need to be training your emotions.
Don’t feel like going out? Take right action, get off the couch and shower up
Don’t feel like opening? Take right action, walk over to her and stumble through that opener so you warm up.
Don’t feel like staying until two? Take right action, go over to the hottest girl in the bar and give it a true shot before leaving.
This kind of stuff applies to any masculine pursuit and will spill over once you’re done sowing your wild oats. If you’re chasing your purpose, you need to take control. Take right action!
For more on this kind of stuff, go to my resources page and check out Way of the Superior Man and Fire in the Belly.